why walk anywhere

life is ours and full of joy

let’s run like children

Kató! Hát megy ez ám 160-nal! Figyeltem az oszlopokat!

home is where i am

home is where i want to be

neither here nor there

i was small and meek

and couldn’t understand

how people get cruel

then i’ve seen all

and been all

and understand

but still i don’t

and so

sometimes i cry

everything is in code

and we lost the chiffre

so we lost our minds

hence the madhouse

First you can’t express your emotions, then you lose your emotions, then you learn to fake emotions, then you believe in them, then you lose.

My chief virtue is self-doubt.

“Majority is not an argument for the truth of a thought.” B. H.

This is your reminder that Buddha would not be Buddhist.

Don’t forget to be grateful every now and then.

I’m not here to be happy. I’m not here to be sad. I’m here to be.

Our desires are burning us, our pleasures are draining us, our senses are deluding us.

Amongst all these possessions we must always remember that we’re but hermits, free and unworried.

How can one explain the acceleration of evolution but with the formative control of mind over body? It’s definitely not random event driven.

If you wait long enough, everything becomes a story.

To smile equals to sigh

To fall equals to fly

Taormina equals Siracusa

And priest equals aura

Compositions are supposed to be whole and that’s what differentiates old and new schools in art. As we developed our intellects and as an unfortunate by-product lost our capability to be integral, our art became fractional. Admittedly, taking things apart is a prerequisite of synthesis and the sketches of classic artists give alluring insight into their creative process. But never before did we stop at various stages of decomposition, never before did we call a messy construction, or rather demolition, site art. Neither was art in the olden days an excuse to celebrate and parade brokenness, illness, decay. Multitudes of traits and variation in art are indeed enriching when composed into a harmony, but cacophonies of disintegrating and discordant pieces are mere manifests of atrophy. Fallible, imperfect, incomplete we may be, but our aim and art’s purpose should be the mending this condition, not its celebration, and especially not an orgy of debasement. So this is where old and new art goes separate ways. But then again, everything goes in cycles and we’re running out things to desecrate, so there’s hope…

once i had a friend

years later, another one

i am fortunate

little frog crying

getting eaten by a snake

rest in peace, froggy

Even if there’s a nuclear attack and the trams are not working, I can be at the museum in ten minutes.

Too few questions are asked, too many answers are given.

Placebos are manifest of the power of the mind.

The way to enlightenment lies not in adding more to life but in removing from it.

Can you still have emotions once you’ve understood them?

Being social means talking about irrelevant topics and avoiding important ones.

I’m with Tolstoy: “No, I can’t argue with them, they wear impenetrable armour, while I’m naked.”

When the past will ask you in the future: “I left you a civilisation, what did you do with it?” – what will you answer?

Your intellect will be your undoing.

“The source of the trouble is the shameless hunger for life.” B. H.

empty rows of old, worn benches

tender rays of tinted sunlight

muffled, distant sounds

this lovely church, it fills me with peace

it takes me in, why go anywhere

sitting in silence

feels like if i stay, nothing ever will change

kind of makes me want to try

then the bells ring

old man in the park

children running around

old man just standing

watching, wondering

how did that happen

where did all the time go

look, i know this, i am this

i am that child, even still

the lightness, the swiftness

the excitement, the joy

the urgency of being

run, run, and away

i am that, i feel all that

it’s alive, it’s in the now

it’s all in me, so it is me

time flows through me

You know you’re doing something wrong if you can verbalise all your thoughts.

Without a fully cleansed vision, one will get lost even after starting on a good trail. With a fully cleansed vision, there’s nowhere to go.

There’s no such thing as justice, yet there’s plenty injustice.

Shouldn’t religion be prohibited for minors?

The world is neither matter- nor mind-first. The world spawned both matter and mind.

Chasing happiness is in vain because chasing anything is in vain. Chasing things we only get further away from ourselves.

…isms are cop-outs, …ists are wimps.

There is a universal orientation. There is an absolute stance. There is a transparent existence. It’s called being human.

If you’re working on saving yourself, you’re doing it wrong.

My brain refuses to remember anything that will get lost when I die.

everything you learn you’ll forget

so the master

so why should i be wrecking my brain

maybe i shouldn’t

everything you have you’ll lose

so the master

so why should i be collecting things

maybe i shouldn’t

even the ‘you’ you know will pass

so the master

so why should i be obsessing about me

maybe i shouldn’t

it’s all in the soup

so the master

Dear diary

Today was a good day. I reinforced two of my core principles by connecting them, that came as a pleasant surprise and I now feel better about both of them. You know how I don’t do much formal meditation nowadays and while I kind of miss that, I also don’t really, and that’s a strange feeling that keeps on reminding me of the Zen sutras going on about making your entire life a meditation, easting, walking, doing the dishes, all. Otherwise meditation easily becomes yet another, in this case a spiritual, escapism.

And so I was wondering about the difference between our regular and meditative states and about that silence one immerselves one’s self into during the entry stage of meditation. That is often the most beautiful and soothing aspect of the entire trip, sometimes even used exclusively, without going further, for merely residing in this state – whereby ‘merely’ is a deceitful little word here, as it’s most challenging to achieve and maintain this tranquility – is already healing.

So, the absense of thoughts is key to meditation. Once the forceful loudspeakers of our conscious minds are silenced, we can begin listening to all kinds of soft voices from underneath, to voices that are either silenced by the cacophony of the caged apes in our minds or to those suppressed because of their potential to conflict with one or another element – comforting lie – in our world views. And this we do a lot, because the world is a mess, hard to make sense of, and locking ourselves behind trivialising dogmas provides a welcome, if false, relief.

On the flipside though this also means that having an intellect that does not conflict with our subsconsciousness lets those quiet voices emerge all the time and become integral elements of our thinking. And this is the very thing that I do, this is exactly how I live, this is why my number one rule and ambition for life, not lying (to myself), is so powerful, for refusing to accept concepts that I can’t 100% identify with ensures that none of my quiet precious little subconscious ideas gets banned, but all will be nurtured until they can become part of my thought system.

A world view is only worth a penny if fully in harmony with what it’s foundations are.

So this is why not meditating works for me, it’s because I don’t lie to myself.

Love, macrocosmic

whatever you read

you read yourself

then you begin to wonder

about your own self

whatever you see

you see yourself

then you make big eyes

at your own self

whatever you hear

you hear yourself

then your feelings rise

all within your own self

wherever you go

whatever you think

you are a prisoner

in a solitary echo chamber

in a maze of magic mirrors

in a library of babel

it is strange, the way

things can lose their importance

things, that never were

Stop chasing the idea of reality.

Melancholy isn’t a feeling – it’s a manifest of a subconscious realisation that we aren’t at home here. Nor, for that matter, anywhere else.

I can feel the aura of people. It’s a bane more often than not.

My only ambition in life is to see things unfiltered, uncoloured. Everything else follows from that.

Also, you’ll find that intellectually versed individuals mostly use their schemes of smartness to cover from truth reaching their hearts.

Enlightenment is neither brainlightenment nor kneelightenment.

Don’t be surprised that you won’t have friends if you’re trying to remain truthful. Everybody has something to hide, mostly from themselves.

Words are but the trail of thoughts.

As much as we appear to inflict the greatest possible damage on the planet, I’m more concerned about the degradation of humane civilisation.

Strong societies withstand the most severe hardship – hollow ones can fall apart on the slightest impact.

And fear equals pain

The desert equals the rain

To remember equals to die

And welcome always equals goodbye

it’s not about

how good you are at things

you can champion the world

without ever being true

and you can be a real mess

and grow every day still

because it’s about

how earnest you are

at bettering yourself

at learning from all the things

at seeing all the things

the way they are

sunlight through the leaves

lazy stream under the trees

thoughts are not needed

Oh and must equals may

Dreaming equals the day

Transcendence equals alive

The wave also equals the ride

Everything’s been said. Many times.

At the finest resolution both matter and spirit are of the ethereal. Hence, neither can be primary. Their codependency also gives them away.

Happiness is suspect. The need for happiness is more suspect. The concept of happiness is the most suspect.

DNA is materialised karma.

Is it possible to be uncertain yet confident at the same time? Is openness uncertainty? Is integrity confidence?

Is it possible to be indifferent yet concerned at the same time? Is calmness indifference? Is hope concern?

Just about everyone on this planet knows gazillion times more than necessary for enlightenment. Humans are natural born information junkies.

I’m still unsure whether amoebas have a big self.

In my dreams I run a country. And I run it differently. Many find the rules there strange. I find this world strange.

You think too much. And you do it with your head.

you can’t stop the world going crazy

i know, i tried

you can’t save people from themselves

i know, i tried

you can’t even save yourself

though i never tried

when dreams are the truth

and reality is false

haikus look weird then

popularity

what a worrying concept

take a walk instead

Careless equals me

Selfless equals the sea

To love equals to fight

Submission equals the might

The primitive is not the innocent state of humanity. Its idolisation is a symptom rather than a development. It may become our future though…

Observing way too much intellectual gymnastics. Enlightenment does not lie that way.

People are running around in circles, chasing things they like, doing things they enjoy, looking at things they want to see. The fools.

Filtering reality is a self-defense of the shallow. Lacking boundless curiosity, impartiality and a pure heart one can’t pass this fence.

The downside of too much knowledge (as opposed to wisdom) is, that one may become captive of one’s own gravitational field. Travel light!

Indoctrinated thinking never is the way.

Atheists can pray too. Prayers work their magic inside. No belief in God is required for the placebo effect.

Existence is disturbance. Only the void is pure.

Why is the material world so consistent, solid and inherent? Why is there matter without spirit? Why must spiritual be rooted in material?

The intellect is a trap.

Silence equals peace

The sky equals release

To cleanse equals to play

And freedom equals away

…

And priest equals aura

that great collection

took ages to complete it

it is worthless now

took the long journey

just to be with you again

sitting in silence

there are many things you gain by socialising

integral knowledge not being one of them

there are many things you learn by conforming

your true self not being one of them

there are many things you lose by remaining truthful

anything worth keeping not being one of them

Me: What’s that you’re doing?

Tonó: – keeps on doing it –

Me: Why do you keep on doing that?

Tonó: Have to.

Me: – nodding subtly –

Tonó: So that the world doesn’t stop tonight.

Me: What.

Tonó: – keeps on doing it –

Me: Couldn’t you find something else to worry about?

Tonó: Is there anything else worth worrying about?

Acting as a hedonist or an investor is small-minded. We are meant to be doing things that are meant to be done.

Mantras rock because it’s better not to think too much. Consciousness obscures the sight. Especially if you’re a nonbeliever.

The ignorant hoards possessions, the clever abates possessions, the wise is aware of the illusory nature of possessions.

It always amazes me that there are lots of grown-ups who never wanted to save the world. I still do. Vegetating away is not an option.

So the Master: “Use the meditation I gave you. Practice day and night. Come back in three years.” No more Masters like this. Or disciples.

Right at this moment Twitter incorporates exactly a gazillion times the amount of information necessary for ultimate enlightenment.

Are we still going to read books in a hundred years time?

Do accelerated thinking and excessive information uptake compensate for losing the ability to immerse oneself?

Is it possible to attain the skill of composing a variety of tidbits into a consistent and integral world-view?

Perception is limited. Intellectualisation is materialism. We’re lost among countless fingers pointing at the Moon.

If you don’t have it

You’ve never had it

Why would you cry

If you have it

You’ll always have it

Why would you worry

lots and lots of books

how many more thoughts to read

just to forget some

Your memories aren’t you

You are you without them

Your history isn’t you

You are you without it

You are you

You are not in time, you are now

You are not in space, you are here

You do not depend, you are

selfless empathy

and sharing a higher cause

that is true friendship

“He knows that there are in the soul tints more bewildering, more numberless, and more nameless than the colours of an autumn forest. Yet he seriously believes that these things can, every one of them, in all their tones and semitones, in all their blends and unions, be accurately represented by an arbitrary system of grunts and squeals. He believes that an ordinary civilized stockbroker can really produce out of this own inside noises which denote all the mysteries of memory and all the agonies of desire.”

woman on the tram

shopping bag with label ‘joy’

bitter, bored face

not being busy

not trying to leave a mark

letting things happen

Sanity is overrated.

I’ll gladly choose insanity if that’s what it takes to preserve my integrity.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

Pleasure is overrated.

I’ll gladly choose ascesis if that’s what it takes to preserve my integrity.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

Wealth is overrated.

I’ll gladly choose poverty if that’s what it takes to preserve my integrity.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

Success is overrated.

I’ll gladly choose failure if that’s what it takes to preserve my integrity.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

Happiness is overrated.

I’ll gladly choose melancholy if that’s what it takes to preserve my integrity.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

Being right is overrated.

I’ll gladly be wrong if that’s what it takes to preserve my integrity.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

Integrity is underrated.

A thousand fake experiences are no match for one genuine moment.

Without integrity one doesn’t even exist.

to remain human

that’s my ambition for life

that, and not to lie

Welcome to the third incarnation of macrocosmic.org, this time for real.

I’ve way too many notes and scribblings, on paper and in digital form, even several tiny dictaphone cassettes that I used in my early twenties to ensure no fleeting idea of mine gets lost. I haven’t listened to these tapes ever, though.

Note that most of these little pieces would lead to long conversations, so don’t rush, this website is not to be read in one go, let the words sink in, take your time, feel free to revisit and make good use of the ‘Random’ link at the top.

And thanks for visiting.

Enjoy your stay.